I have to admit, senior year was both everything and nothing like how I imagined it would be. I expected the Senioritis. I was prepared to push through the ever-present urge to procrastinate and be lazy, but it hits you so much harder than that.

Senioritis is not contracted from having a bad night of sleep or procrastinating on a worksheet. Senioritis is a mental blockage that every senior gets at some point during his or her senior year. All motivation is lost, and you cannot seem to care about anything else other than graduating, even though, ironically, you cannot graduate without caring about your schoolwork. Towards the end of the year, you become some kind of mindless robot who’s just going through the motions.

I knew I would have to fill out college applications, but I had no idea that that is what I would be spending three-fourths of my senior year filling them out, and the other one-fourth trying to decide what I plan to do with my life for the next four years.

Beginning the process of college applications is when Senioritis starts to make itself known. This isn’t because of their tediousness, but because of what they mean. Seniors spend months filling out applications for the sole purpose of making people they have never met approve of them. They have to recall every positive thing they’ve done during their four years of high school, and then they start to worry that it isn’t enough. Why couldn’t I have joined more clubs, tried out for a sport, or had some kind of charity project? To top it off, I have to write however many essays explaining why I am the greatest person you will ever meet, and why it would be an absolute shame to not have me at your college. The entire process requires patience, motivation, and self-esteem.

I was semi-prepared for all of that, though. What I wasn’t prepared for was the wait. Juniors are talking about college, but they don’t have to worry about making any hard decisions yet. Last year’s seniors have already begun their new lives, and they’re having a blast. High school seniors are stuck in this in-between where we are waiting for our lives to start but can’t do anything about it. The entire year has been focusing on getting ready to leave, so the entire year has felt like one long goodbye. We start to put things into perspective, and we realize how unimportant some of our problems are. We try to hold onto how simple life is as a high school student, but facing the real world is inevitable, and sooner or later, you stop caring about school and drama because you’ve outgrown it all.

A fresh start is only a couple of months away, and you can’t be bothered to worry about reading for English or finishing a worksheet. Senioritis hits hard and all motivation seems lost, but seniors need to suck it up and push through it. The seniors before us were able to, and the seniors after us will have to. College won’t be easy, and if you can’t make it through the end of the year, how will you make it through college? Find your motivation through the little things, and don’t end your time at high school with apathy. Be optimistic for your future because it’s going to happen wether you’re ready or not.